Heya :D (Struts into the room with a briefcase)
One second my good man (Opens briefcase to pull out a hat)
What I have for you today is a brilliantly themed hat of flames!
It is a themed orbiting fire Hottie's Hoodie! Live your true dream of being a fireman! (Wears black hoodie like a boss as a spark of flame flies in a circle)
Everyone wanted to be a fireman once, that's until they discovered they put OUT fires.
But you can live your dream NOW GOOD SIR! ( Grabs trader by the shirt)
YOUR DREAAAMMM xDDDd
I'm willing to part with my unusual if you add for the larikin :D