my dude
User #263509
This user has been banned permanently by sirploko. The reason for this ban is as follows:
Self admitted scammer.
I'm cashing out. Willing to quicksell my stuff for Pure/Mixed/Cash/Knives. Cash only if you have good rep. My definition of good.
Add me or post here.

Also, the spycrab cannot he traded/gifted. It can only leave my inventory if/when I delete it. Sorry to disappoint.
If you want to know why, just read lower.

I'm sick of the trading community. In the beginning they seemed like okay, nice people. Later on I've come to find out that 99% of them are nothing but disgusting profit whores, content to ruin your day just so they can scramble off with a few extra keys. As much as I'd love to give specific names to those who disgust me most, I'd get in trouble for doing that. Ask me in chat and I'll probably tell you :] The sheer amount of people who dedicate their entire Steam profiles to trading is just sad.

Then I saw this:
No offense to the creator. He's a great trader and all, I just think this goes way too far.

For months I've been trying to finish my endgame set. But in order to do so I have to go through the herds of traders, offering me 300 for my stahlhem. Please. go away. If you wouldn't take that offer, what makes you think I will? That only works on the weak-minded. I'm also done dealing with garbage traders who banter about their prowess in unique cosmetic trading. Last year I got myself in a 20-minute argument with one kid who wouldn't take my offer since it was .33 ref lower than his buyout, it was all the metal I had at the time. I would have happily paid his buyout, but I physically couldn't without waiting all day to get more. Some people just have no decency. And no, I am not being hypocritical. I've made exceptions many times in the past for lower. I think quickselling counts. I've even given out free stuff to people I like. I've given beta passes to random people as long as they're not soldier mains.

I'm also pissed off at the amount of soldier mains here. It's the stupidest, easiest class by far and requires no aim. All you have to do is click on the ground within 10 feet, and they take 50 damage. Great. I find it hard to recall one time where I didn't scroll through the front page and didn't see something along the lines of "Soldier unusals ONLY." "Soldier hats preferred." "Keys or SOLDIER HATS ONLY" If you can hit airshots and do rollouts, kudos to you. I like people like you. But those of you who don't jump, shoot only at the ground, and jump in between every shot, die in a fire.

And with everything being labeled as going allclass, the market will get inflated to an unhealthy level. The HWNN was ok, the Hazmat was stupid, and the Bot-Dogger was plain dumb. Now with speculations for every other hat in the game, we have toxic people selling their burning versions for thousands of keys. The worst part is some are stupid enough to buy them before it goes allclass. Valve just likes to take these already expensive hats and make them even more pricey. At least give it to a hat that deserves it, like the Teutonic Toque. :]

And the last reason is one I've only noticed recently and bothers me so much. The sheer amount of Eastern European traders and their bad English drives me crazy. I'm not being racist or anything, but seeing somebody selling stuff and having poor grammar hurts my head. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people saying "I want 100 pures" "This hat is 70 key." сука блять!!!

And if you skimmed through my banter, I'll sum up everything here.
1. Too may profit whores
2. Dedicated traders who don't even play the game
3. Everything is going all-class
4. Too many soldier mains
5. Eastern Europeans and their bad English

If any of this beaks some sort of rule let me know and I'll fix it.
I'm done.
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i have these
i dont want them
i want bank
$1.70 USD Each
add me
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Got some neat aussies, all pro KS except minigun. Some have cool parts look yourself. I'm not charging that much more for them like an idiot.

Rocket: 70
Scatter: 39
Wrench: 28
Minigun: 18
Ambassador: 20
Current Event: 6

Pure only please
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EDIT: I really need keys so I'm quickselling these for an mentally unstable rate. At least the pistols and the scatter.
Isotope: 120
Energy Orb: 200
Scatter: 110?
Shotgun: 200

3 turned into 4. Cool
All are Strange Unusual Multiclass Weapons with minimal damage (hence the MW)
EDIT: The scatter is just a scatter. Not multiclass
Hit me up with any and all offers. I don't bite
All look FN, with minor scratches only. The scatter looks surprisingly nice for a FT
Get FN without paying PyroProtectMe's autistic prices.
Throw offers at my stupid fat face.
I am very interested in pure, I'm glad to go lower in Pure/Mixed
Or a deal with a pan. hee hee

Energy Orb:
Isotope Pistol:
Isotope Scatter:

Thanks for looking, and leave a heart on my profile to keep me out of depression

-Beams Tyrantium (Shotgun)
230 Pure(collecting)-Shotgun. I will take this when he is ready
-250 in items or something on the isotope pistol

EDIT; I have a current offer of 230 pure collecting on my shotgun but he's taking fucking forever and he's only halfway done(smh). So I'm getting rid of that too for cheap, I'm done waiting :{
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I should have edited this a while ago. I'm cashing out, so I'm quickselling stuff. Everything is clean besides the Stahlhelm, but it's the only one for sale in the world, so I don't think it matters. If it does to you, you're dumb.
Strange Vivid Well Wrapped: 200
I want a nice knife as well, feel free to offer those. Add me or whatever.
Keys>>Cash(rep only)>>Knives>>>>>>Unusuals

I got offered a Burning Pyromancer's Hood for the VVF+Mmmph+130 keys. L M A O
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I'm doing more brokering. These do not apply to my cashing out quicksell stuff.
I'm trustworthy, see.

Everything is clean, unusuals are 1/1 on the market
Amby: Offers
Uber: 130
Mmmph: 40.
Amby: 23 keys. 23 key offer ready to take on Friday May 6th
More or maybe not in non pure offers. Obv less in pure. If I don't have these they're sitting in somebody else's bp, and I can get them back whenever.
Add me or post here.
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lmao soldier is a fucking stupid class
I crouch jump to the left and right between every shot
I play iron roamer and my team is 2-6

40 keys for the stupid overpowered weapon
70 keys for the bad hat for a bad class with a good effect
50 keys for the super clean crown for the wonderful demo mains who can actually hit pipes

Or make me an offer, I want keys mostly.
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I need to buy a really cool gun to kill this bitch that lied to my face. So I'm selling keys to fund my sociopathic urges.

$1.75 USD each, PayPal. You go first, you need some amount of rep.

All I really have is this trust:

You'll see me in the news soon.

Add me
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So my brother wanted some skins.
Why not?
Night Terror Scattergun
Blitzkreig Pistol
Coffin Nail Shotgun
Small Town Bringtown Rocket Launcher
Any non shit flamethrower
Blasted Bombardier Sticky Launcher
Rooftop Wrangler Grenade Launcher
Top Shelf Minigun
Airwolf Wrench
Any non shit medigun
Blitzkreig Knife

Just no battle scarred
paying pure
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Buying any and all broccolis. As long as something pretty is coming out of it I'm interested. Make me a shit offer and I'll give you my schizophrenia
this hat is concentrated stupidity
this class is pure autism
quickselling for 200, maybe less
  • Completed
I want a FN Marble Fade M9 Bayonet. Period.
Very willing to negotiate. If it takes too long I'll probably offer my stahl 1:1.
ez profit for all of you snakes
add me

Please. I don't need your bullshit. Don't tell me the UGC badge isn't tradable, and that the Bayo is MW. I'm not dumb like those of you who found it necessary to comment.
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Yahia did nothing wrong.

Hey, sailor.

So much better than the idiots who think burning and scorching look good together.
The key is offering something I'll like, not a stupid 1500 key soldier hat. Soldier is stupid
C/O's on the VVF since people think this is the place to make a profit. WRONG
-FoD Pool Party
-Beams Cotton Head if I add my Stahl and Pistol
-MG COTOK+Showstopper Burstchester
-Scorching War Pig
-Clean Burning Veil+Secret Softcap
-Vivid Antlers+Hearts BoA+Secret Company Man
-Not Applicable's BP?????????
-Burning Chill Chullo
-Cloudy Moon Crone Everything there
-Horrid lowballs.

I guess two more popped up on the market overnight. Go bother them instead with your lowballs

Screenie right here https://gya...d9e223
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Bible price, less in Pure or PayPal
Fire away


C/O: 150 pure http://img...ABz9nm
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i want a shiny knife
maybe marble fade
keys/marble fade stuff preferred
could quicksell
Finally getting around to this
I'm looking to cash in on a solid knife to keep. You'll probably be able to make a profit off of me, as long as I like the knife
Primarily looking for Phase 3 Dopplers with a large amount of green. I might want a Ruby/Sapphire, but that's it.

Also interested in Shadow Daggers, mostly Crimson Web, Fade, and Slaughter.

FN ONLY. I couldn't care less about the StatTraks so I'm not paying 500% more for one.
I'll settle for lower exteriors if they look nice to me. Add me, offer here, or send a trade offer.

EDIT: Now really interested in FN Crimson Web Shadow Daggers
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Finally getting around to this
I'm looking to cash in on a solid knife to keep. You'll probably be able to make a profit off of me, as long as I like the knife
Primarily looking for Phase 3 Dopplers with a large amount of green. I might want a Ruby/Sapphire, but that's it.

Also interested in Shadow Daggers, mostly Crimson Web, Fade, and Slaughter.

FN ONLY. I couldn't care less about the StatTraks so I'm not paying 500% more for one.
I'll settle for lower exteriors if they look nice to me. Add me, offer here, or send a trade offer.
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So now I have 3 of them. Sick. I'm selling one, keeping the other forever as part of the best allclass set in the game
Both are Strange Unusual Pistols, with 2 of the best skins and the 2 best effects
Hit me up with any and all offers. I don't bite
Both look FN, with minor scratches only.
Get FN without paying PyroProtectMe's autistic prices.
300 Keys each.
300 in stuff I like
Or throw offers at my stupid fat face.

Energy Orb:

Thanks for looking, and leave a heart to keep me out of depression <3
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I bet Yahi reported my trade since he was afraid I'd say something that would be "detrimental to his career" even thought I promised I wouldn't. Thanks.

Hey, sailor.

So much better than the idiots who think burning and scorching look good together.

C/O's on the VVF since people think this is the place to make a profit. WRONG
-MG COTOK+Showstopper Burstchester
-Scorching War Pig
-Clean Burning Veil+Secret Softcap
-Not Applicable's BP?????????
-Burning Chill Chullo
-Cloudy Moon Crone Everything there
-Horrid lowballs.

I guess two more popped up on the market overnight. Go bother them instead with your lowballs

Screenie right here https://gya...d9e223
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  • Closed by staff
Hey, sailor.

Better than burning scorching faggotry

C/O's on the VVF since people think this is the place to make a profit. WRONG
-MG COTOK+Showstopper Burstchester
-Scorching War Pig
-Clean Burning Veil+Secret Softcap
-Not Applicable's BP?????????
-Whataver the hell Bob posted down there
-Burning Chill Chullo
-Cloudy Moon Crone
-Horrid lowballs.

I guess two more popped up on the market overnight. Go bother them instead with your lowballs
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  • Closed by staff
My love child.
So 3 turned into 4 while I was at the dentist, neato.

Pistol and Shotgun are MW, Pipes and Stickies are FT, Medigun is WW

Offer away.

Also, if you think the medigun is strange you're just dumb.
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More nice stuff
Both clean, short histories.
Rack B/O: 300 keys, more in offers
Burstchester: 350, very interested with a showstopper
Thanks for looking
Leave a Heart to keep me out if depression <3

-Scorching Buto on the Rack if I add 30 keys
-FoD Burstchester on the rack
-PE DCO+25 keys
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Can I sit at the big kids table now?

Now this is God Tier.. nice

It's clean, it's one of those news hats that everybody gets a hard one for.
Comes with free vegetation paint. nice

600 Pure/650+ Items

-one of those nebuloonee phonios (Nebula Phononaut)
-PS Exe+Logo HKC+Ooze robo modest+dusk allbrero+abduction UT (~700) (Retracted because my husband is fat)
-600 Pure collecting B) http://img...PB6k1O (sorry for shit quality)
-Beams Pencil+Burning Bubble Pipe
-Hearts KE+Cyclone Skullcracker
-Beams Brainiac
-Burning Warmer+Scorching Grimm+BS Stat Sand Cannon
-TW BoA+Burning Bomber's Bucket+Frostbite HWNN if I add my Rack

Can and will go lower for pure/Mixed with at least 50% pure.

Offer me, add me, do whatever. Just don't call my husband fat.
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So I've got my endgame allclass here. I paid ~450 for it and I won't bother listening to anything lower. Think of it this way when you offer. Would you take this? "Oh, but how ever shall I make my 1 refined profit?". You don't belong here if you're saying that

Somebody tried to scare away the lowballers by offering a GE Vive. It takes one to know one.
sold for 80 pure :]
  • Completed
Simple. I want the best emoticon on steam and I'm not paying 20 bucks for it
Looking for the cheapest fucking grenade launchers and m1 m2 combos. Looking for Hot/Cool ONLY.
I'm paying in full pure, so I expect decent deals. Also, I'm buying these for keeps so this isn't the place to make profit
Brokering for sully. He can frag me better than I can frag him so I agreed to do this. He really wants a Ghosts Rotation, or enough keys to get one.
or offer me in pure or whatever
Looking for strange unusual wrenches. Any exterior is fine, any effect BESIDES Hot is ok.
Cool>Isotope>Energy Orb
Simple. This is the best taunt that I can bring into comp servers. Now I can show off even more.
All I want is pure offers or other Burstchesters. I have keys and stuff to add.
Also turns out this is 1 of 1 on the market. Neato magneto

Showstopper=Fountain>Grail>'72>Money>>>>>>>>>Shitty Tornadoes

If you wanna buy it, I suggest offering above 150.
-165 pure (Retracted because "hurr durr unpriced het bad bad bad")
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I haven't had triple digits of pure. It feels nice.
Throw your quicksells at my stupid fat face.
If you wanna add me make sure it's an actual deal.
This is literally the cleanest scorching rack that isn't locked away in some kid's backpack.
Don't shit me
It's also Level 42 if you care. I don't, but I can milk it and add some extra value

B/O: 350 keys, more in items
-300 pure http://img...8zngGD. It's possible and doable. I expect this
-155 Pure+M9 Bayonet Doppler FN+3 tod tickets
-FoD Burstchester (350)
-clean beams rack+70 pure (not bad)
-scorching lucky+54 pure

Can and will go lower for full pure
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Sunday Morning, rain is falling...
Guess the song and I'll give you a heart..


So everybody loves this stupid witch hat, right?
I think so.
Also, this is the only one with the early supporter tag. I think

B/O: 500

Sold for a Big Boy hat (GBH KE)

And the taunt, I just either want keys or other Burstchesters. The good effects.
B/O: 200

165 pure collecting (will take when done)

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If you haven't noticed these are 3 StatTrak Unusual weapons, all in Minimal Wear. They look hella fine if you ask me. All of them have short histories, and are all clean

Offer away

Edit: Sticky is FT, I'm retarded
So I decided to break my last set and invest in an all-class set. Why not? So I'm finally parting with this. Scout misc, great 1st gen effect for building sets, level 100. Also, the last time this hit the market it was in july and I bought it. Good luck finding another one. Not taking jank prices on this one, and if you complain about it being duped I'll take get my crocodile chomper and clamp on your nipple.

B/O: 170. I'm very negotiable, don't let the buyout scare you. If you have pure I'd be extremely happy to work out a deal as I'm considering cashing out for college and all that jazz
CURRENTLY QUICKSELLING FOR 500 PURE lmao birthday weekend discount. This goes back after monday. IF OFFERING ITEMS STAY AROUND 700

"Nebula is fat, smelly, and a doodoo rangus" -$hpeed 2015
I swear I'm gonna gut that bitch when I see her again.

I was told that pointing out the 1-person history adds a lot of value. That.

All of you who called me stupid for using unpriced hats, shut up, I have this now. It's a Nebula All-Class. You just got metaphorically dunked.

This hat sold for 700 pure in the past, I'm expecting something similar

I'll keep things short. I have no problem keeping this and I just might. I'm not taking price on this unless it's pure/mixed/an offer that makes me wet my pants

B/O: 750, more in stuff. I could easily go lower for pure
I'm very interested in adding for something super duper cool, if it's even in my league
Capts with the same effect have gone for 800 before, Phononaut>Space Mann


-FoD Burstchester+Aces COTOK+Ghosts Letch+Abduction HOHH+24 Pure (~600)
-MG Crone+Mega Strike Burstchester if I add 9 keys (740)
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Hey autistic spy mains! look over here!
With my new wardrobe, I have what it takes to be a brain-dead spy main. Oh wait, where's my charmer? Where's my phantom? I guess I'm not autistic yet, I'm just dyslexic. I can settle for that.

Both these hats are fancy and limited on the market, fedora is the only one for sale as far as I know, beret is 1 of 2 I think. Also, the fedora is no longer gifted, thanks gabe.

Be as hot as the streets of paris!
-for 65 keys you could be burning in figurative flames, rather than literal fire. NEATO

Be a TF fanboy with a logo when you pogo(ouch).
-30 keys and it's yours

more in items as always, probs less in pure.
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Two fine StatTrak Unusuals right here. Both are great MULTICLASS weapons and make a great endgame piece. I don't mind keeping these so I'm in no hurry to sell. The shotgun and the pistol are the ONLY multiclass weapons that come in unusual.

-MW, Cool. Festivized, StatTrak
-Appropriate Mr. Freeze puns attached
-B/O: 300 keys
-Fun story about this thing: I bought this thing for a burning anger from the piece of trash that you know as Jizz Syrup. We had the deal set out, and the trade was in hold. There was a complication and the offer got messed up. I wanted to go back or do some sort of trade back, maybe even get a few keys in addition since I overpayed like fuck. I would have cancelled it myself, but I had a Nebula Phononaut in hold and I couldn't afford to wait the 7 day cooldown. After the trade went through he just ignored me repeatedly. I asked on Outpost about it, and he flipped it around to make it look like my fault. After shrugging it off and realizing that I didn't really care anymore I went to apologize. Turns out he blocked me. We each had our own sides of the story and it just wasn't worth arguing about. The fact that he wouldn't even bother to hear an apology is just cruel. This might sound really blown up and stupid, but let's face it, I can't have an Outpost trade that's pure seriousness.

-Check it out if you don't believe me:

-MW, Energy Orb, StatTrak
-Looks FN, with scratches visible on only the handle.
-Second indexed owner(I think)
-B/O: 450 keys (FT Sold for 400)

Lookie here:

Thanks for stopping by. Leave a heart to keep me out of depression <3
Add me, offer here or whatever
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So all they want is a pro aussie frontier justice. Or the keys to buy one.

B/O: 16 pure or a pro aussie frontier justice
"Dont threaten me with a good time"

So I'm looking for unusual versions of this here hat. Why? Trading is getting slowish for me and I just don't feel like continuing, since I'm buying so much for keeps, my profit margin got really really small and I don't enjoy having little to work with. So I'm gonna go get an allclass endgame set and stop here. I want some sort of cool combo. My fav choice would be Vivid+PE, but I doubt that's happening any time soon. The first one I saw was strange and vivid, got me so wet. The unboxer removed me overnight and when I asked in the comments I just got deleted. Rip my dreams...

Pretty much it. I'd heavily prefer a Strange one as well as unusual but I doubt that's happening ever. I could take regular unusual I guess. But then how am I supposed to prove that I'm not a garbage trader who only trades and that's it? With 15,000+ points on one. That's why.

Might as well start a misc hunt too. Lemme know if you have nice miscs you'd be letting to go for a reasonable price. Also, I'm more concerned with the effect rather than the het. So if I get offered PE Antlers for 1200, and a PE Viewfinder for 800, I'm taking the viewfinder, regardless if I'm making a profit off the antlers. I'm keeping these.

Also the shotgun and Ushanka are just there since I don't wanna make a separate trade. They're up for offers only but be reasonable. I don't mind keeping them. Offer on them if it tickles your moist luxurious genitalia. I paid a burning Anger for the shotgun so dont offer lower.

If you actually read all of this kahoots to you. You really have nothing better to do. Also, don't report me for having a foul mouth. Say "animesux" in your comment to let me know, I'll give you some of my love that was previously reserved for my husband. He's on vacation so its open season :B1:
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I swear I'm not buying any more Gun Mettle.
Fun Fact: I wasn't wearing pants when I got this trade offer. Maybe it's a new formula for success.

So it's a Scorching Samureye. Not much else to say besides it's a God Tier effect on a God Tier hat. Makes a fine piece to one's endgame collection.

B/O: 250 pure, more in hats
C/O: clean burning charmers (retracted). Would have taken btw
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spells and such
dunno what it's worth
keys preferred
So after a while I decided to play more of this stupid class. So I'm looking to build a set obviously. Looking for something with Frostbite. I would prefer an Engineer's Cap or a Pencil over the others but I could settle for something else. I can offer anything, just name your price and we'll work from there

I've already suffered from one retard, don't be the next
  • Closed by staff
All over my soup, dang

Flies galore. 3 great hats here, belt and rotation are clean, for the trophy it doesn't even matter since its already a dirty effect.

You can combine the belt to make a double flies set, which is the best effect for sniper, as it gives you the joy of having an unusual set yet while not making you really easy to kill.
Trophy(first gen retired, misc hype) 70
Belt(sniper misc) 45
Rotation(hip new allclass) 50

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Holy fuck I love random trade offers
After a month of sweat, I've finally finished my endgame scout set. What makes this set so good is that there's no tussle, no burning, no scorching, no stupid overused effects. Fuck mainstream B). Fuck iron 6s players with Tossles+Fast Learners.
Anyways... This beaute contains:

1.) PE Scout Shako: 1 of 1, third owner
2.) Vivid Bonk Boy: incredibly rare misc, almost never hits the market, Level 100, duped but I don't care
3.) Taunts: Both themed, short histories, rarely hit the market(I think)
4.) "The Ice Age": Cue batman and robin reference. I'm not sorry (letting my husband borrow it since I already have the sandstone :3)
5.) This stupid sandstone pistol: More info on my other trade (

Not splitting, nor selling near jank prices, or feel the cold shoulder B).


-Vivid crown of the old kingdom if I take out the sandstone and add a little on top

Leave a Heart and keep me out of depression <3
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sold for a duped moon tossle
Currently quickselling for my REAL dream pistol,
300-350 pure
For those of you who think you're doing justice by harassing me, its Stat

Inspect In-Game:
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So the time has come. It's been a good run, but my time has come like everyone else's. This phlog buff made me ultimately realize that valve caters to new players and doesn't give a shit about the people who really care about this game. You'd rather put a smile on xXCreeperGamingXx's dumb fucking face than the guy who plays plat HL. I've lost all faith in this game and it's doomed just like my ego. I'll still play it every now and then, might continue in comp, but I figured I should convert my crap into keys and stuff.

Pretty much I'm only looking for keys, or massive overpay in unusuals. Cash is only taken if you have a huge rep, and you will go first. I'll gladly go lower in pure, just make a reasonable offer. The weps are least likely to sell but I'll still consider any and all offers.